CHIAVARI, Italy - A couple
of years ago the UK’s Guardian newspaper published a series of articles written
by writers about a defining moment in their lives. The series was called Once Upon a Life and out
of the 80 or so writers the only names I recognized were George Pelecanos, the
brilliant mind behind The Wire, and Peter Leonard, whose claim to fame is
unfortunately based on the fact that he is the son of Elmore Leonard, one of
the greatest writers of all time.
My Favorite Piazza, Rome, Italy |
Some of the writers, in
fact most of them, talked about experiences in their childhood – going to
summer camp for the first time, going away to boarding school or other events
that took them out of their ordinary day and put them in unfamiliar and often
challenging circumstances. For Pelecanos it was his father’s heart attack that
pushed him at the age of 18 into running the family business, a diner in
Washington, D.C., and for Leonard, it
was being arrested in Rome, Italy for stealing a taxi cab and ending up in an
Italian jail.
It got me wondering if I
had ever had such a defining moment in my life, and I decided no, I had not. Nothing as dramatic as their events had ever
happened to me, at least not an event that changed my life. I have had some
life changing experiences, but totally normal ones which did not affect me
anymore than they affect anyone else – getting married for example, having
children, getting divorced. But then I
realized I was wrong and sometimes life-changing events take place in a very
un-dramatic way.
Rome's Fiumicino Airport |
You might think that
moving to Italy would qualify as a life changing event, but I think it was
something that
occurred long before that that was really the game changer. It happened on my
first trip to Italy, and no it wasn’t the glories of Rome that seduced me, or
the beauty of Florence or even the Italian Riviera. I hadn’t gotten to that
part yet, I was still in the airport.
We had just gotten off the
plane and were making our way across Rome’s Fiumicino Airport when a very
strange feeling came over me. It was in that moment I knew that I would live in
Italy. I didn’t know when, I didn’t know how, I just knew it would happen. And all the time I was there I felt as if I
had come home after being away for a very
long time.
Still Near and Dear to My Heart, Philadelphia, PA |
When I got back to
Philadelphia, I started to study Italian.
There were some forms that took forever to master and even years later,
the best fashion photographer I ever worked with, Davide Maestri, would always
correct me when at the end of the day I would say ‘siamo finiti’, which in
Milanese jargon translates to ‘we are dead’ instead of ‘abbiamo finito’, we
have finished.
Italian is a tough
language to learn. I was a single
mother, I had plural children, I was also in a full time relationship and held
down a full time job. Time to study? What a joke. I barely had time to buy
groceries. But study I did. Every morning for one half hour I sat with my
‘Learn to Speak Italian’ book and struggled through those beastly conjugations
as I sipped my first cup of coffee of the day.
Then I discovered RAI
International had started broadcasting in the United States – RAI being the
Italian state-owned radio and television company and I could now watch programs
direct from Italy, in Italian right in Philadelphia. But because of the six
hour time difference between the USA and Italy, the programs were broadcast
when I was at work. So I taped them – using those big black reels of tape and
my VCR. That meant that every minute I was in the apartment there was an
Italian program playing on my TV.
Le 'Veline" of Mediaset |
It drove everyone mad, but
I persisted and listened to speeches by the then President of Italy, by the
Prime Minister, watched scantily clad ‘veline’ (showgirls) prancing around on
stage under one pretext or another and through it all I understood nothing. But
I persisted.
Inside my apartment I
lived in Italy, but outside my door it was still Philadelphia. I remember
thinking how happy I would be when I would walk out the door and find Italy. It took more than 10 years to get here, 10
years of times, many times, when I wondered if I would make it. But whatever it
was that happened to me that day walking through Fiumicino Airport, was my life
changer. I never really believed in destiny, I always believed we made our own
destiny – until that day, until Italy.